Notes for my future self

NOTE #1: You are on top.

Do you ever just look back in time and think about the times when you thought that you'll never make it this far? Or when you thought that you were too weak to survive and that you had no energy left to fight?
Well, you were wrong. Here you are now, stronger than ever. You have survived and you have made it here. You've had ups and downs yet you never gave up, so don't you ever say that you can't do this and that, because darling, you DEFINITELY can.

Remember your first period cramps? When you were aching and didn't understand what kind of pain you were in. Yet you got out of bed, went to school and had a normal day. And when your mood was so fucked up that you had no energy to do anything or talk to anyone, but your family was forcing you to talk, to sit on the table with them and pretend that you're enjoying the whole family gathering thing. You managed to do that. You've always been good at hiding your feelings just so you wouldn't make someone sad although you knew no one cared.

Remember your first crush? When you used to watch him talk to every other girl at school except for you. When you wanted so bad to talk to him and be close to him, yet you were too shy to make that move. Remember when you used to stalk him online? Those butterflies in your stomach every time you see him online, the texts you wrote but ended up not sending every time and the tears you shed when you knew that he had a girlfriend. How much you envied her and wanted to be her. But just look around you, is she anywhere near you now? Is she as successful? Did she make it as far?

Remember when they used to make fun of you at high school because of your nerdy look? The braces and the glasses and the books you read. Tell me now, does anyone of them know about world war1 or 2? Black holes? The Palestinian cause..  Yet you knew. Books are the bridge you walked on to be where u are now.

All of these things above were the fuel you needed in order to blossom and be the strong successful lady you are now. That has made of you the you you are now. The you, who everyone thought would give up on life years ago. Yet she made it this far. So congratulations, you are where you should be. You're on the top.